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" Why are you leaving daddy?"Jim looked at his son, contemplating whether or not to tell him. " Daddy. just got into some trouble with some bad people. But don't worry I will come back."Kevin was sobbing. He didn't want his dad to leave and he especially didn't want those bad people to catch up to him. " I don't want you to leave!"Jim brought his son in for a hug and held on to him. " Shhhh shhhhh, it's gonna be ok. It's gonna be ok." He pulls back a bit and says, " Don't worry, it'll all be fine." He starts to tear up himself and looks his son in the eyes and says, " I love you and I know that you will grow up to be an amazing person." I love you too dad." Jim gets up and quickly walks out of the room. Kevin follows him to the front door as his dad looks back at him and runs out the front door and gets into his van and drives away. Kevin was about to run after his father but his mom, Karen, held him back. Kevin turns toward his mom and hugs her leg crying his eyes out. His mother. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and worse news”. Dude asks what the bad news is, doctor goes “you have 24 hours to live”. Dude asks in a terrified voice what the worse news.
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